The Unnamed W book

The Unnamed W book

Or 

Why Editing is Important

 There was a third "W" book I read for the alphabet challenge. I have chosen not to mention the title or the author's name. The reason for this is the many editing and formatting issues in the book. It was not self-published. But it did go through a small press.

The issues were so bad that I started marking them, circling them, and making notes as I read the story. They distracted me to the point that the story suffered, and, really, it's too bad, because it had potential to be good. 

I will create my own examples of the errors to give you an idea of what NOT to do and what to look for when you are going through the Galley Proofs.

Issue one: Punctuation.

Jack and Jill are talking. 

     "Hi, Jack," Jill said. "Hi, Jill, where are you going?" "To the store."

     When you read this, who is talking? Jill. Now, why would Jill talk to herself? Is she carrying on a conversation with Jack, because he isn't mentioned.

The correct way:

      "Hi, Jack," Jill said.

      "Hi Jill, where are you going?" Jack asked.

      "To the store."

Issue two: Poor word choice: Pacing/paced

Now, when you read the word "pacing or paced," what do you think of? If it is used to describe a car, it could be moving at a fast or slow pace. If it is used as a description, it could be: the runner had a fast pace. 

If I write: Jill paced beside him. Does it sound right? This may be a personal issue for me, because the first thing I think of is the character is pacing back and forth. Jill paced up the stairs. Did she go up and down the stairs? Why didn't she just go up the stairs? 

Issue three: Repetition

Example: Jack and Jill went up the hill with a water bucket. They carried the water bucket up the hill to get some water from the well. Once they were up the hill with the bucket, they lowered it down the well and filled it with water. 

The first sentence already established they went up the hill carrying a water bucket. Why do we need the next sentence?  The only thing that matters in the third sentence is that they filled the bucket with water from the well. 

Rewrite: Jack and Jill needed to carry the water bucket up the hill to the well.

Issue four: Formatting

Example: Jack and Jill took turns carrying the empty bucket up the hill. They followed the trail to the top, stopping now and then to gaze down at the cattle grazing in the fields. The well sat in a clearing              surrounded by circular moss-covered rocks. Jack                                                                            tied the bucket with the rope and lowered it into the water. It took both of them, pulling together, to get the bucket back to the top.

The above is something the editor should have fixed before publishing the book. 

Last Issue: Continuity. 

Example: Jack looked into Jill's brown eyes and marveled at how they were the exact shade as the deep blue depths of the lake.

Uhm ... if they are brown, how can they be a shade of blue? 

Another continuity example: Jill went into the kitchen to start dinner. She was making chicken pot pie for Jack and wanted everything to be perfect. Jane took the chicken out of the refrigerator and set it on the counter with the vegetables.

Uhm, who is Jane? Wasn't her name Jill?

The lesson is simple: Edit your darlings. And then go back and edit again, and again, and again, and again.